Original Release: Softhouse Seal, 2012, PC
An RPG that plays out with a card game battle system, Boob Wars tasks you with bringing peace between the warring titty kingdoms.
Boob Wars (PC, Softhouse Seal, 2012)
Where to Buy: MangaGamer
Review by: Master-B
You gotta give Boob Wars at least some credit for taking a completely crazy premise and just running with it without hesitation. We’re in a fantasy world where a genetic mutation has caused all women to have either A-cup or E-cup breasts; nothing in between. These endowments split into two factions, and a world war ensues. You play as the top member of the Erorites, basically Witchers who do nothing but sexually service women, and your mission is to seduce your way to world peace somehow.
What this ends up being is a sequence of the usual static “visual novel” hentai screens accompanied by prose that sounds like it’s from a self-published teenage erotic fiction writer. There is a morsel of gameplay tossed in to tie them together, however. After a tutorial battle series against two low-level Titty Grunts, you’re then free to choose your approach to ending the Boob Wars; recruit a general from either army first, or go straight after the queens. Regardless of your choice, you’ll be forced to battle your target to submission to get them to join your harem, and said battling consists of a simple but decently entertaining card game that actually manages to incorporate a little strategy.
The card game deals you and the foe three cards, and you take turns on offense and defense. You can play up to three cards per turn, with the face values adding up to represent your current attack or defense power. After each turn you’re dealt two new cards. There’s a little strategy in trying to guess what your opponent is sitting on or what approach they’ll take, as well as when to take a calculated risk by playing one low card on offense or defense to hoard your cards up for a future turn.
Alas, the card game ends up being trivial, because it’s so heavily weighted in your favor it’s almost impossible to lose unless you play like you’re brain-dead. You’ve got two huge advantages that the computer doesn’t ever get; you periodically get dealt a card that can be cashed in for three more cards, and a “discard” card that you can use to replace up to three of your existing deck. When these land in your deck they inevitably break any stalemates and let you jump way ahead. Battles are also identical through the whole game; the only thing that changes is the enemy sprite and how many hit points they have.
There do seem to be branching paths with different H-scenes depending upon the order you “seduce” the four women in; it seems like pretty much the same old hentai tune on the same old hentai fiddle in all cases, though. Generic anime nudes with droning text that eventually end in a gallon of mayonnaise being spewed all over the place.
Links
Walkthrough
Videos
Gameplay Video