Original Release: Free Spirit, 1989, Amiga / Atari ST
The third Brad Stallion adventure follows in the mold of the previous games: short, cheap and with minor titillation that looks like it was stolen from pinup magazines
Bride of the Robot (Amiga, Free Spirit, 1989)
Where to Buy: eBay
How to Emulate: coming soon!
Review by: Master-B
The third Brad Stallion game really doesn’t improve on its predecessors; it’s still a very short and overly punishing adventure that’s just clunky and abusive to play, to the point its limited “adult” and comedy content is not at all worth it.
Anyway. The setup is that some scientist has invented the world’s first intelligent robot with a sex drive (who looks like Pizza The Hut’s henchman from Spaceballs equipped with a disturbing drill dick), but it promptly kills its creator and kidnaps the Miss Galaxy winner. For some reason it’s up to Brad to fix all this, but he’s presently recovering from a party on some random planet surface.
This throws you immediately into a punishing maze in which you’re auto-killed for going in the wrong direction (with no indication what the RIGHT direction is save for one clue that helps you navigate just the next two screens) or for clicking on any unnecessary items. What makes this unacceptably awful is that you can’t load your game upon dying – it pretty much just locks up and you have to reset the whole thing, watching the entire introduction again!
Also, the save-load system turns out to be worthless. Between game sessions it somehow manages to forget actions you’ve taken or items you’ve picked up on prior screens, so it’s basically useless. With all of this, if you really want to play this game, you might as well have a walkthrough handy and just refer to it step-by-step to save all sorts of wasted time and aggravation.
The fact that they managed to make three games like this and sell them for money (the fourth and final entry, Sex Olympics, actually wasn’t that bad) really speaks to the unsated desire for adult computer games in the 80s and 90s, at least outside of Japan where they were kicking out all sorts of fun stuff. It’s just a total player-abusive pain to try to get through and absolutely not worth any kind of effort.
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